Ten reasons why it would be great to be a hipster

1.)  Those hipster glasses have a certain thing about them that make all hipsters look like that friendly nerd you were kind of friends with in high school. They must make a lot of friends with strangers this way. There is something cool about the hipster glasses that not everyone could pull off and hipsters do it so well.

2.)  The attitude that nothing matters. Imagine going through life having no cares at all. What are you going to eat for dinner tonight? Whatever is in my cupboard dammit! What are you wearing to dinner on Friday? Whatever is at the top of my laundry pile duh! You smell really good, what deodorant do you use? That’s my soap…

3.)  My clothes budget would be minute every month. Shopping at vintage stores could be extremely expensive but shopping at second hand clothing stores and maybe even stealing jerseys from your grandparent’s collection ensures that you spend mostly nothing on clothes every month. It pays to be the kid that everyone tends to hand his or her cast-offs to.

4.)  Branching off from the minute clothes budget: Non-existent hair budget. How much simpler my life would be if I had my own hair scissors and if I was ok with cutting my own locks. To get an even better result, one should use their kitchen scissors. In the words of hipsters everywhere, “The blunter the better.” That applies to sarcastic comments thrown at family and friends too. That asymmetrical “a five year old just went crazy on my head” style works well with alternative clothes and bottle top glasses.

5.)  People leave you alone. Unless you invite them into conversation of course. If you are walking down the street and someone judges your outfit, even though you know you are wearing the ugliest skirt on the planet, it is your ugly skirt and they can bugger off. You give them a look that only a hipster could achieve that says, “Shove off mate, I do not need to know what you think.”

6.)  It is cooler for you to not own a car; in fact it is cooler for you to not even drive in a car. Carbon emissions and all that jazz being your main subscription to why you do not drive. This could work to your advantage because not only will you spend absolutely no money on fuel, you will not pay for insurance or car services or even to replace parts when your steaming heap of junk decides to give up on life. Another plus to this point is that you can forever be the “drunk friend” in the group as you will never be allocated the designated driver. On that note you will never be that A-hole friend who offers to drive and then gets drunk because you would never offer to drive anyway.

7.)  This would be the best point on my list and my personal favourite, you would never ever take a single step in a pair of crocs. Although hipsters tend to gravitate towards all things ugly, they have managed to get one thing right and this is their saving grace. Crocs are fugly and too fugly even for hipsters.

8.)  If one day you had to decide to get a job, you would be an excellent social media strategist as this is what hipsters do in their spare time is it not? I think if I had to look through all of the pictures uploaded by a hipster on Instagram, I would be old and grey before I reached the end. I may mock but this gives you a huge advantage when you eventually choose to hang up your hemp moccasins and get a job.

9.)  Great taste in music. Sniffing out that completely alternative song that no one has EVER heard of it and it is your favourite song in the whole world. Yeah…that kind of makes you cool.  I will admit to keeping my alternative friends around for one reason and that is so they can find me amazing music at the drop of a hat and I know it would never become commercial or land up on any radio station in the very near future.

10.) The last (and most important) thing that makes hipsters cool has got to be the fact that they do in fact read really good books. When you are a hipster, it becomes cool to get an education in arts, to read classic stories and to be way more educated than your substandard peers. This gives me hope that future generations will not be completely useless. They wil nt typ lyk dis. They will be smart and be able to have a rowsing debate. They will fight for their rights and read novels that do not teenage vampires in them.