Dear Jude,
I met Mark before you. He was my friend for a very long time
and I held him highly in my heart. I only ever wanted him to be happy because
he was a good guy. He went on for a year that he wanted a girlfriend and
nothing ever came from it. When he met you, I knew this was the beginning of
happiness for him but I was scared of losing my friend to someone I did not
know and therefore did not like. I still remember the first time I met you, he
brought you to a pizza night at the Red Herring. I was possibly more nervous
than you were, this day marked the day I might have to tell my friend that he
has terrible taste in women. Luckily for everyone this didn’t happen. He was
running late as usual but you quietly sat and waited for him to arrive. As soon
as he did it was like both of you came alive. I have never liked a new girlfriend
straight off the bat like I liked you. I knew you would fit in just fine and
there would be no misgivings after that.
You made him happy for so long Jude, even though there were
days at a time that he would dull you down completely. There were days when he
infuriated you so much but you stayed. He has always been a good guy, a good
friend but even I could see that what he was doing to you was not good. It made
me hate him a little. Some days it even made me hate him a lot. I found myself
fighting and fighting and I knew not for what but I think deep in my mind it
was all for you. Someone had to fight for you, I think most days you were just
too tired to fight for yourself.
When you ended it. I was heartbroken for you both. I knew
that it was better for you but that didn’t make it any easier knowing I would
see you less now. It didn’t make it less heart-breaking seeing the tearing
apart of a union I thought would last forever. You had become more of a friend
to me than he ever was. You had been there for tea dates and girls nights. You
had always shown up with a smile. Even when it felt like your heart was being
torn apart. When I needed a friend, you were there with your baking goods at
the ready.
It has been a while now but when we speak about him I can
still see the hurt in your eyes. I can almost feel the burn in my throat and
the sinker in my heart when I am around you. I know you are still hurting. And
I would give anything to take away that pain. I would give anything to take
away the sad memories and replace them with only good ones. I wish you could
see Jude, that you are amazing. You open your heart to everything with a pulse
and you only stop loving them when they prove they are not worth your love. I
wish that I could say Mark is worth your love. He isn’t. You are so much
brighter than this world should allow for. There is too much good in you to be
upset about one idiot. He has proved time and time again that he never deserved
you in the first place. You are too kind to let him go. A girl should never cry
over a man unless he is dead.
I don’t think you know, Jude, how
important you are to this world. The world needs bright stars like you to keep
it alive. You may think we are just friends Jude, but I swear some days, you
saved me from sinking in an ocean of my own self pity. You are supportive,
compassionate and full of life. If the world didn’t have people like you, it
would fizzle out into darkness. You need to give yourself more credit. Some
people cannot see the light in others even if it is dancing naked in front of
their nose. He chose to ignore your light, he chose to stamp on it and turn
away his eyes. This does not mean that the next boy will be the same. The next
boy might match your light. I really hope he does. You are delightful and
sweet. You leave an impact wherever you put your feet. So show those footprints
dancing a little. Show those footprints doing a jig. You got rid of the dead
weight that was stopping you from taking on the world.
You can be anything you want now.
There will be no one that you have to think about first. There will be no one
to hold you back Jude. We will salute you from the sideline and quietly say to
ourselves, “I knew this day would come.” So start walking forward Jude, start
dancing that little jig first if taking the step forward is too scary but just
know that your future is so bright and I can already start to see the rays on
your cheeks.
Love always,
Courtafairy
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