Tired tired tired and sick sick sick

There are only so many mistakes you can watch someone make before you give up and go your own way. There are only so many times you can bail your friends out of sticky situations and only so many times you can deal with their garbage for them. There are special circumstances where you should be granted a “get out of helping a douche for free” card. There are moments when you need to look back on the situation as an outsider and say to yourself that you are worth more than to be the prince charming for someone else all the time. I was that person who always helped every living soul that needed help until I was also the person having panic attacks because my own life was falling apart and no one was helping me fix my problems. At the end of the day if you surround yourself with people that constantly expect you to solve their shitty lives then you are going to have friends who cant help you with your life because they cant even fix their own. You are what you eat people, if you choose to consume the bull that you are fed then expect that bull to follow through in every other inch of your life.

I say this quite often but obviously I don’t feel like it is said often enough: You need to take control of your own life. If you are constantly flinging responsibility around then you are going to forget who you are and what you are capable of. We need a world full of people that take responsibility for themselves. We need to live in a world where we do not need to look out for every one else’s actions but only our own. If you don’t have one needy friend then I have some bad news, the needy friend is you. There is one in every group just like there is one in every family. You need to let this person land on their own two feet, if they don’t land correctly they will stand up and learn that next time they should lift their arms before impact or bend their knees a little more. Life is all about learning, we start off as blank canvasses and slowly we add the lines and colour. If someone is constantly using your brushes and your paints, you are going to end up with nothing for your own canvas and they are going to end up being the person you were meant to become with all of the colours you were meant to have. It is about time we all started putting ourselves before everyone else just a little bit at a time. I am not saying that we should be completely selfish because this is not what being human is all about but don’t go to the extreme where you are so involved in fixing someone else that there is no energy or time left to fix yourself.

Maybe I am a bit of a hypocrite because there was a point in my life where everything was falling apart and all I needed was a helping hand that I never got from anyone else. I am not going to lie, this made me feel a little bit resentful of the people I chose to surround myself with but at the end of the day: digging myself out of that hole was more rewarding than if I had had a crutch helping me through everything. I think that we are given obstacles for a reason and if you choose to let the obstacles build up instead of taking them head on and fixing them then you cant expect anyone else to take on your problems either. We all need a helping hand every now and then but when I give you my hand, I don’t mean that you have rights to take my entire arm. Are we all adults now? Can we all take our life into our own hands and be our own salvation? We all have cause to make our lives better so why do we not start doing it for ourselves? Let us all be highly effective people and change our own lives for the better so that no one else has to drop their own issues and save us from drowning in our own crud.

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Do you like the person you’ve become?

I never understood how people could have a fight and instantaneously they hate each other. I have seen best friends torn apart over one little argument. Did you not realize that you didn’t agree on certain things when you became friends? How do you stay friends with someone for years and over one petty fight fuelled by jealousy and greed you decide that person is not worth being in your life anymore?

I have taken countless amounts of abuse from some people and I stick around because I think that I can’t possibly give up that easily, can I? I wonder how it is decided when a friendship ends? How is this designated as the end? I have two friends who had been friends for about 7 years, met in high school and never looked back, now they don’t talk and they refuse to suck up their pride and try to talk. It saddens me because I feel that the reason they fought was a silly reason to fight but females are silly and that is what we do. We yell when talking is enough. We hurt someone when accepting their confession of guilt is enough. We cry when walking away is enough.

The human race are a bunch of drama queens that extend their hands of friendship to every soul that they meet but withdraw their hand just as quickly when the going gets tough. Here is thought, why don’t you decide that this is a lifetime commitment when you make the connection with this person? Remain calm and quiet. Stick your feelers out there and decide whether this person is someone you can trust, it is not that hard. Here is another thought, when you have your first fight, don’t walk away. People do not get divorced over one fight; it is not that easy to let go of someone unless they never meant a thing to you in the first place. Why cant you just commit to making it work? I mean you don’t need to be their “everything”, you don’t need to be the be all and end all to this person, but if you cannot be nice, the least you could do is to not be ugly. If you cannot help their life in any way and you cannot enrich their being then by all means do not try. You also need to commit to not making anything worse, to not damaging them in any way and to not offering them empty promises.

Be a human being and realize that there are billions of us on this planet all fighting for the same thing. To be happy. If you aren’t happy then continue on your journey to be happy. If you are happy then find someone who isn’t and help him or her. If we were meant to be selfish then God would have put one person on this planet and only one. If we were meant to wreck all that we have then God would have left us with nothing. If we were meant to feel hate so easily then God would never have given us the ability to love. Yes, loving is hard, but hate ruins your soul and makes you just as tired. Loving someone is sometimes easier because it can be done from a distance, hate may start from a distance but it almost always ends up consuming you.

So step one, figure out if this new friendship is going to work for you. If not then move on quickly and quietly. If it does work for you then never let it go over something silly. If it doesn’t work for you then decide then and there that you will never cast a bad stone near them. You will just let them alone to be a human, like you, and find happiness somewhere else. If they are mean to you then accept the hurt and move on. Don’t assume that they need some hurt hurled back at them. You are going to inevitably ask yourself in twenty years, “Do you like the person you’ve become?” Do you really want that answer to be no?