Fueled by a post by Constantly Effed, I decided to write a reply to all of you single folk about why we say the things we do and what irritates us about the things that you say about being single.
1.“You’ll find it when you aren’t looking!”
Guess what? Sometimes it really does happen when you stop trying so hard to look for it! I spent a year pining away for what my friends had. I would whinge and whine about not finding the perfect thing for me and as soon as I accepted that it wasn't going to happen, I was rolling in offers from every Tom, Dick and Harry. It isn't a set thing that it will come when you aren't looking for it, but sometimes when you start making other things your priority, an opportunity for a relationship will sneak up and surprise you and this is the best way for it to happen! No one wants to plan love, sometimes the best love is the love that falls out of the sky and bowls you over.
2. “You can’t be happy in a relationship unless you’re happy with yourself first.”
This may annoy you, but it is true. How can you give everything of yourself to someone without knowing solidly who you are first? You will never be happy in a relationship until you learn to love yourself more and learn exactly what you deserve and what you can do without. Sometimes this is learned through trial and error but sometimes when you learn all of this before you get into a relationship...this is when you have the perfect relationship, because you know what you deserve and therefore what you want out of a relationship.
3. “You’re still young, you have all the time in the world.”
If someone is saying this to you, it means you ARE young and you DO have all of the time in the world. What is the point in wasting your time in a relationship when it could be going nowhere? Get out, live a little and if you are lucky you will find the person that completely suits you. This may be the person who is just as much of an adrenaline junkie as you are. You may find your person while you are busy finding yourself and then GOOD FOR YOU. But if you haven't found your person yet, then it really does mean that you have more time to do shit for yourself. I do agree with you on one thing, age has nothing to do it, it is about you being ready or not.
4. “You deserve someone who wants to give you everything.”
If someone is saying this to you, then it means that they think you deserve everything. They are not saying it to make you feel better, they are saying it because they think you are incredibly special and they want you to have the world. If we could give you what you want and make you happy then we would but we can't so all we can say is this pissy sentiment that you DO deserve better than you have ever got and hopefully one day it will sink in and you will look for a person who can give you everything.
5. “You’re looking in the wrong places.”
Ok, you are allowed to be mad at this one. I have no excuse for the idiot who can say anything above and says this instead.
6. "You should try online dating!”
We are basically saying that you should try anything other than sit on our couch and whine that you are single and don't want to be. We are trying to give you solutions to your predicament, we are not trying to piss you off. We just don't know if this is an avenue you have tried yet and don't knock it til you try it.
7. “You’re too picky.”
Like I said for number 5, this person is an idiot, and probably not your friend. So do yourself a favour and stop talking to them about your relationship woes.
8. “Oh hey, but also, never settle.”
NEVER SETTLE! Never ever settle for anything less than anything that will make you absolutely and completely happy. You deserve to be perfectly happy. You deserve to reach for the stars and have them come to you. You deserve the sun and the moon and the stars and the person that you deserve will think that you are their sun and moon and stars. Never f**king settle.
9. “You need to put yourself out there more.”
We are saying that you are quiet, we are saying that when we all go out, you sit there and talk to us. We are saying that when the bartender says "It's on the house" and winks, all you do is walk away and say, "Score, free drink!". We are saying that your ideal night out is game night with all of your couple friends and this is not going to change your life in the way that you want it to. Listen, accept and adapt people! Get out more, make some single friends, talk to strangers (not creepy strangers) and find people that interest you.
10. “I’m Engaged!”
Be happy for me you sourpuss. Otherwise you aren't really my friend either.
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